KeithThere's a man at the Malvern TABShaved head, tatted up, 'bout six foot threeHe was our neighbour when we lived on Hotham streetAnd though we never got his name, we called him KeithKeith had a white Volkswagen Amorok that he parked out front his houseWith a steel two-wheeler trailer that he liked to tow aroundOne day a mate was coming round and parked out on the streetAnd little did we know we had just stated world war threeLittle did we know we had just started world war threeThe bloke was seethingHe was enragedKnocked on our door like a dog in a cageWe opened upHis face was redHe took of his speedies and he saidDon't fuck with my trailer cuntDon't park in my spotIt's the second time this weekAnd I'm about to loose the plotI phoned up the council and the bloke said it was mineMove your shit heap of a carTo the other fucking sideIt was a Sunday afternoon in early springThe family cross the road had a gatheringA pregnant woman pulled up in a CR-VSpotted a park and said "well that's for me"Well wouldn't you know that very momentAround the corner come KeithHe pulled his ute up next to her and then he said quite cordially"Oh g'day love that's my house, so you'll have to park elsewhere"She said "surely you could just as easily park it over there?"Surely you could just as easily ark it over thereAnd from out porchWe watched the sceneAs something snappedThe man turned greenHe pointed his fingerAnd he said it clearOpened up his lungs for the world to hearDon't fuck with my trailer cuntDon't park in my spotIt's the second time this weekAnd I'm about to loose the plotI phoned up the council and the bloke said it was mineMove your shit heap of a carTo the other fucking sideKeithIt was a Tuesday afternoon we last saw KeithThe current affair crew came rolling down the streetHe heard a knock and opened up his doorShocked and perplexed "Tracy Grimshaw?"She held the mic right up to his faceCalled him out for everything and said "You're a disgrace"But Keith wasn't listening, his eyes were locked dead-panStaring at the camera crew and where they parked the vanHe saidDon't fuck with my trailer cuntDon't park in my spot (keith)It's the second time this weekAnd I'm about to loose the plot (don't do it)I phoned up the council and the bloke said it was mineMove your shit heap of a carTo the other fucking side (keith no!)KeithKeith
